The Comparison Trap – A Reflection and Lesson
Comparing ourselves to others is SUCH A HUMAN trait (flaw?). We look at other social media accounts and see their best selves projected onto the world. We often don’t see the junk rooms behind-the-scenes. (And we all have in the very least a junk drawer.)
So many of us are self-critical. This is valuable as we strive to be better in who we are and what we do. It is harmful when we let it spin out of control.
“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
~Theodore Roosevelt
Rewind 20+ years when I learned a valuable lesson about comparison. (I’m still not perfect though and still need to remind myself of this now and then.) I was in my life drawing class back in art school at UW-Madison. (Go Badgers!)
I would dwell on every “flaw” in my drawings and paintings. The hands are too big. I don’t have the shading correct. I don’t have a vision for how this should turn out. My composition is off. Yikes! It was a constant banter in my brain of what I wished I was doing better.
There was a woman who always set up her easel next to mine during this class. Every day, I’d watch the drawings she’d so effortlessly create while I listened to my internal struggles.
One day, I remarked, “Wow, I’m always loving what you are drawing.”
She echoed that back to me without a pause. “Wow. Thank you. I’ve been thinking the same thing every time I look at the work you are making too.”
We were each silently judging ourselves while loving the others’ work. The “flaws” were actually what delivered the spice and the personality to the work.
